Operation: Capture Sora and Roxas!
by Kirei Ryuusei
Summary: Axel & Riku want their naive love interests Sora & Roxas. So what do they do? Plot to capture them of course! However it seems that fate and the authors intend to prevent them from having their way. Read as Axel & Riku try and fail to get their loves!
1. Operation Capture is a Go!

_Kirei: Hello to you all! I am Kirei Ryuusei coming at you with my first co-written story. Let me introduce my co-writer, Kuro no Ryu!_

_Kuro: Hey, I'm Kuro no Ryu. Kirei is writing for me since I have no computer and never wrote a fanfiction before._

_Kirei: And that's why I'm here! Along with being the one to be the undisputed ruler of the story._

_Kuro: Yea—wait, say what? I thought we agreed this was a two-way relationship!_

_Kirei: As long as I get say so since I'm the one writing._

_Kuro: Y-You didn't say that! Kirei!_

_Kirei: *pretending she didn't hear him* neither of us own Kingdom Hearts but enjoy our insane ideas._

_**~~~~All Hail Eccentricness~ All Hail Eccentricness~ All Hail Eccentricness~~~~**_

It was a normal day on Destiny Islands. The sun was shining on the white sandy beaches. Palm trees swayed in the tropical breeze. Yes, this was a beautiful normal day on the islands.

But of course, there were two islanders that weren't outside enjoying the fresh air. Instead they were playing video games. Who were these lazy bums? None other than the Keyblade bearer known as Sora, and his nobody Roxas. They were in front of a flat screen TV with as PS3 plugged into it. They were playing a game called 'Kingdom Hearts 2'.

And unbeknownst to them, there was someone enjoying their naivety through a pair of binoculars. This was a certain pyromaniac. A red-haired pyromaniac with his green eyes on a certain dirty blonde-haired nobody while he hid in the bushes next to the house of Roxas and Sora, "Oh soon Roxas…soon you will be mine…"

"What are you doing, Axel?" a voice called. Axel jumped, fumbling with his binoculars. He met face to face with the lanky teenager known as Riku. Nervous that he got caught on his peeping, the nobody blurted, "I'm so not peeping on Roxas!"

His shout earned him an arched brow, "Uh-huh."

Changing the subject, Axel wondered, "What are _you _doing here, huh?"

"This is my hiding spot for spying on Sora." The silver-haired teen pointed out. It was Axel's turn to raise a brow, "I see…how about we share the spot and team up to capture our love interests?"

"Seeing as I have nothing better to do, sure," Riku answered as he ducked into the bushes with the Flurry of Dancing Flames.

_**~~~~All Hail Eccentricness~ All Hail Eccentricness~ All Hail Eccentricness~~~~**_

Sora was playing on the PS3 when Roxas wondered, "Hey, Sora?"

"Yeah?" he answered while he was rapidly tapping the controls. His nobody continued, "Did you ever explain to your mom about where you've been?"

"Yep."

The dirty blonde blinked, "And? How'd she take it?"

"Dammit, I hate the long cutscenes," Sora cursed as his eyes turned to the nobody, "She said something about dropping me on the head when I was a baby or something. I wasn't paying attention. Oh right, I never told her about you. Hey, mom!"

From outside the teenager's room a voice answered, "What is it?"

"You have another son!" the brunette cried, "His name's Roxas!"

Clattering could be heard outside the door. Mutterings were heard, "I swear I didn't drink when I had him…and I only had one…I think. Uh, Sora, how old is Roxas?"

"Fifteen," Sora replied distractedly. More clatters were heard, "Sonuva—And where's he been all this time?"

Roxas could tell the Keybearer was losing focus since the cutscene was over and he was fighting. But, the brunette said, "Inside me."

A gag and spit came from the single mother, "S-Sora, y-y-you are a boy, right?"

"Well duh! Sh**, not the fire pillar! Not the fire pillar!" Sora cried as he scrambled to recover in his fight. An exasperated sigh came from outside his room, "I need a vacation…Sora…uh Roxas…I'm going on a vacation for a week…two weeks…You know what, I'll be gone until I get my sanity back…"

The teen called, "Bye mom!"

_**~~~~All Hail Eccentricness~ All Hail Eccentricness~ All Hail Eccentricness~~~~**_

Riku watched as his love interest's mother exited the house with a suitcase big enough for quite a while away from Destiny Islands, "Sweet, Sora's mom's gone. They're all alone…"

Axel mischievously rubbed his hands together, "Now no one can stop us…"

_**~~~~All Hail Eccentricness~ All Hail Eccentricness~ All Hail Eccentricness~~~~**_

"Hand it over, Sora! You lost!" Roxas yelled as he jumped onto his somebody. Sora squirmed under his grasp, pulling the controller in his hands out of his assailant's grip, "No way, I want to fight Axel!"

"Nu-uh! I get Axel!"

"I get him!"

The two guys wrestled back and forth. They rolled across the wooden floor boards, trying to grasp the controller for their turn to play Kingdom Hearts 2. Suddenly Axel appeared in the room, "Oh boys, boys no need to fight over me. There's enough to go around."

From in the bushes, Riku facepalmed at his new partner blowing their cover. Meanwhile, the two keybearers paused, staring at Axel in confusion. First to recover, Roxas greeted, "Hi Axel, you wanna play Kingdom Hearts 2 with us? And why is there a bush in here?"

"Uh…" the fire-controlling nobody rushed into the room, thinking he was going to score with not only his blonde interest but his somebody too, and accidentally dragged the bush (and Riku) into Sora's room.

Luckily, the young keyblade wielder explained, "Roxas, its storm season. That's normal."

The nobody's eyes widened, "It can be strong enough to blow a bush into here?"

"Yep!" he chirped as Roxas settled back next to the teenager.

Both Axel and Riku breathed a sigh of relief. Somehow the naïve brunette managed to bail them out. However, one thing was clear:

Plan 1: Just Stalking—Failed.

_**~~~~All Hail Eccentricness~ All Hail Eccentricness~ All Hail Eccentricness~~~~**_

_Kirei: Done! Now I need some sea-salt ice cream…_

_Kuro: I have some, want it?_

_Kirei: Gimme!_

_Kuro: *holds it above his head* Gotta jump for it. C'mon._

_Kirei: *jumping after ice cream* My iceeeeeeeeee screammmmmmmmmm!_

_Kuro: Well, this is our first story together so please be nice and review, with no flames._


	2. Read the Fine Print

_Kirei: Ciaossu! Hey minna!_

_Kuro: *waves* Hello._

_Kirei: You know we keep coming up with ideas faster than we can write them. Isn't that weird?_

_Kuro: We even made a Christmas special! _

_Kirei: Which isn't for another two months! You can tell that we have nothing better to do with our lives._

_Kuro: Speak for yourself. *looks at Kirei's 'oh really' look* Okay we don't. Anyway, Kirei and I do not own Kingdom Hearts but we do own our little plotline._

_Kirei: It has a plotline?_

_**~~~~~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~~~~~**_

Axel was unhappily kicking up dirt with his boot as he hiked up the hill towards the house where the Keyblade bearer and his beloved Roxas resided. He needed a new plan to capture the nobody but he had no idea what to do.

That is until he saw a cloaked person leaning near a tree, "Hey, you. Yeah, you with the red hair."

Axel glanced around to see that he was the only person around. He approached leisurely, after all any one that wanted to assault him would be burned and sliced by his chakrams. The cloaked person looked like an Organization member, the flame user noticed, "We have another member? What's the point of being called Organization 13 with fifteen members?"

"Well, I'm not exactly a typical member," the person, obviously a male, answered, "Number 0, nice to meet you."

Axel began to laugh, "Number zero? Man, you are a real nobody."

"Ignoring that, I noticed you seemed like you needed something for you little scheme. Here," a bottle with a blue liquid was put in the Flurry of Dancing Flames' gloved hand, "this'll help get your love monkey."

Green eyes examined the vile, reading the label, "Incapacitating drug. Fast acting. Hey, thanks ma-"

He looked back up to see that the man was gone, leaving the nobody to scratch his head in slight awe before going to join his companion. Riku was crouched in their disguised rock and tree base (they had to since the bush was unceremoniously uprooted, thanks to Axel). When his partner arrived, the teenager wondered, "Where've you been?"

"Oh just getting our newest scheme~ Look!" he excitedly waved the bottle in front of Riku's green spheres. Reading the label, the younger said, "A drug? No way can we spike anything. Axel we can get arrested for that!"

"_You_ would get arrested," the pyromaniac pointed out, "I'm an assassin, remember?"

Rolling his eyes, Riku began descending the hill that Sora lived on, "Well, I'll just leave that to you cause I'm not drugging anyone."

"Pft! Fine, more fun for me! I'll have Roxas _and_ Sora!" the nobody bragged. The silver-haired adolescent spun around, "You dare touch him-Wait, this drug thing is going to backfire so I'm not concerned. I'll be back to laugh at your failure later, Axel."

"He acts as if it's going to fail! I'll show him!" Axel declared as he reviewed his plan, "I'll use this drug by putting it into sea salt ice cream. Then I'll offer it to Roxas and Sora, who won't ever say no to sea salt ice cream! Then I can have my way with them. It's brilliant. Brilliant! BRILLIANT!"

_**~~~~~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~~~~~**_

DING DONG!

Both the teenage boys perked up at the ringing at the door. They paused their game of Call of Duty and went to the door. Standing before them was Axel. Roxas grinned as he greeted, "Axel!"

"Hey, Rox, Sora," he tried (and failed!) to sound casual in his greeting, "Uh, I just wanted to know if you wanted some sea salt ice cream."

"Sea salt!" the dirty blonde cried. "Gimme, gimme, gimme!"

From behind his back Axel produced two bars of the blue-colored frozen treat. Excitedly, the two Destiny Island residents grabbed the ice cream and promptly devoured it. Axel was so happy he couldn't hide his Cheshire grin. He won! And it was only the second chapter!

He noted the glassy-eyed nobody's-home-look in their eyes. The drug worked! It worked! He prepared to take his prize and his prize's somebody when both suddenly simultaneously called, " AXEL PINATA!"

"What-?" the red-haired nobody wondered at the random proclamation. Then once he was the Kingdom Key along with Oblivion and Oathkeeper he understood, "Oh sh**! Not the key blades! Not my face!"

_**~~~~~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~~~~~**_

Riku walked up the hill to Sora's house, like he promised, to come back for Axel. He was coming up the bend to see Sora and Roxas heading back inside. Maybe they were taking a break from all the video games? Then he noticed the Keyblades in their grasp. Were they in danger? The silver-haired teen ran up the hill.

Pausing at the top, a smile graced Riku's face before he burst out laughing. He clutched his sides as a finger jerked to a tree. From the tree hung a rope and tied to that rope was Axel. He was bloodied and bruised. Indents that looked suspiciously like a key were rammed into his head. Through his black eyes, the nobody glared at his partner.

"I told you, it'd fail," Riku commented as he walked over to release the man from the ropes. In his hands, Axel clutched the empty bottle of incapacitating drug, "But how! I did it all perfectly! I put it in the sea salt ice cream and gave it to them! It was brilliant."

"Please don't make an Emperor's New School reference," he said as he took the bottle and read the label, "Uh, Axel?"

"What~~?" the said person tiredly whined. Riku showed him the bottle and showed the warning in a fine red print:

'**Warning: Do not put in sea salt ice cream. Will cause the side effect of mistaking a person of being a piñata.'**

"I hate the fine print." Axel muttered.

Plan 2: Drug them-Failed

_**~~~~~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~~~~~**_

From another hill, two people watched Riku continue to untie the ensnared nobody, "That drug wasn't in the plan."

"Nope," one of the figures, a girl commented.

"Shouldn't we go after the guy that gave Axel the sedative?" the other person, a guy asked.

"No!" the female answered in a chipper tone. An incredulous look came from the boy, "But Kirei! He's interfering with the story!"

Kirei shrugged as if she didn't care. Her companion, Kuro, face palmed, "Do you really not care?"

"No~ now gimme some cake!" Kirei exclaimed. Kuro blinked, "Wha? Why do I have to?"

Kirei warned, "Want to end up like Axel?"

"N-No…" Kuro admitted.

"Good now let's get cake!"

_**~~~~~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~~~~~**_

_**Reviewers Response:**_

_Yukiko Shiroryuu:_

Kirei: Why not? I wrote a songfic for Sora and Kairi before.

Kuro: I'm not the mean one! *points to Kirei* _She_ is!

Kirei: *makes a halo appear above her head*

Kuro: *throws halo* Lies! She's no angel!

_:_

_Kuro: Oh we will…no seriously we will come up with more chapters._

_Kirei: Yeah, an we hope to have more reviewers next time. So any readers, Please review! It boosts Kuro's confidence as a fan fiction writer!_

_Kuro and Kirei: Till next time, see ya!_


	3. Never Piss Off Xion!

_Kirei: Jeez are you all heartless?_

_Kuro: Yeah, I mean, I thought comedy was something everyone enjoyed_

_Kirei: And was even better when it was characters like Axel involved._

_Kuro: Is this how it's like to be an fan fiction writer, Kirei?_

_Kirei: *sweat drop* unfortunately it can be with almost no reviewers. Except our awesome reviewer, Pyro. Ahlex!_

_Kuro: Thank you!_

_**~~~~~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~~~~~**_

An Organization member walked along the corridors of darkness. The member was a girl, probably about 15-years-old, with cropped black hair and blue eyes. Her name? Xion. She had a spring in her step since she intended on hanging out with her possible love interests. But then she thought aloud, "Oh man, what am I going to do with them?"

"I believe I can help you with that," a voice called to her. Xion, surprised by the sudden response, summoned Lunar Eclipse and swung at the source of the voice, "Holy crap! Watch where you swing that thing!"

Blue eyes looked in confusion at the figure sprawled on the ground. They were hooded by a similar Organization cloak that she wore. From his voice was a guy, and he put his hands up in defense, "Please don't kill me!"

"Who are you?" Xion lowered her key blade slightly.

"I'm called X," he answered, "A fellow Organization member of yours."

The statement aroused Xion's suspicious since she met everyone in the Castle that Never Existed. Her blade was up again, poised at the guy's throat, "Then how come I don't know you?"

"I'll tell you if you put that down!" X cried, his voice reaching a crescendo by the end of his sentence. The key blade wielder didn't comply making him gulp, "I-I'm so much of a nobody that not even Xemnas knows of me! I was created before him! Oh god don't kill me, I'm too young to die!"

A sweat drop formed on Xion's head as she dismissed her weapon. After blubbering like a baby, she decided X was harmless. X stood and brushed himself off, "Thanks for not bashing me with the oversized key but as I was saying I can help you with that little dilemma. Here."

He held out three slips of paper for Xion to take. She glanced over them. They were tickets! Concert tickets for tonight in Twilight Town. She eyed the parchments, "What do I need to give for them?"

"No charge, just go get your love monkeys! Good luck!" with that, X disappeared, leaving Xion to cheer for her newfound prize. And she knew who she wanted to share it with.

A certain red-head and silverette.

Xion dashed for the door that led to Destiny Islands.

_**~~~~~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~~~~~**_

She exited the corridor of darkness to be met with the fertile soil and saltwater air. A short distance from where she stood Xion noticed two crouching figures behind a rock and tree. Instantly recognizing the people, the replica called, "Axel! Riku!"

"We are _not_ peeping!" They simultaneously lied, putting their hands up as if a policeman had spotted the duo. Xion giggled and they turned. Axel let out a sigh of relief, "Oh it's just you, Xion. I thought those nosy neighbors called the cops on us."

"Oh~" the black-haired female said, before remembering the reason she came. From the depths of her cloak, Xion showed the tickets, "I just got tickets for a concert, so I wanted to know if you-"

"Not now Xion, we're watching Sora and Roxas get dressed," Riku interrupted as he viewed the scene with his binoculars. Axel shoved at his partner, begging to see his blonde nobody shirtless.

She pouted before attempting again, "But it'll be really fun. We shou-"

A wolf whistle muffled the rest of her words as the pyromaniac grabbed a hold of the binoculars and having his fun. Red spread her face as her blue eyes narrowed in anger. They weren't paying attention to her! All their energy was going into watching Roxas and Sora…*light bulb comes on*

Xion declared, "Since you're ignoring me, I'm gonna succeed where you failed!"

Her boots tromped as she walked past the hideout of the two older guys. Riku asked, suddenly afraid, "What is she doing?"

"I think…I think she's going right up to the door!" Axel announced in alarm as Xion reached the door.

KNOCK! KNOCK!

The black-haired girl stood on the porch while she heard the fast stride of footsteps from inside the house. The wooden door swung open to reveal the teenage key blade master and his nobody at the doorway. Roxas exclaimed, "Xion! What's up?"

"Umm well…" she gave a sweet shy kind of fidgeting that the two hidden guys were jaw dropping. Axel whispered, "She's not doing what I think she's doing, is she?"

"If you mean the innocent trick, yes…" the key blade wielder groaned in horror was he watched the replica continue her plan.

Her gloved hands showed the items in her hand, "I had these tickets for a concert and I wanted to know if you wanted to come."

Sora chirped, "Sure!"

"Why not?" Roxas added. Xion smiled, "Well it's not for a few hours…"

"That's alright! We'll go out for sea salt ice cream!" the brunette happily told the girl. Roxas took out the pouch that he and his somebody shared to count the money, "Sora, we don't have enough for three bars."

He shrugged before he thought, "Not a problem. Xion can have some of ours!"

"You mean lick off the same ice cream as you?" she wondered purposely loud so Riku and Axel could hear. Roxas nodded, "If that's fine with you."

She linked with both boys. One for each arm, "Not a problem at all, let's go."

A corridor of darkness was opened and as they were walking in, Xion turned her head towards the two hidden perverts and stuck out her tongue. Once the portal had closed, it only left Riku and Axel with their mouths agape.

"She…"

"…got them."

"ON HER FIRST TRY!" they exclaimed.

Plan 3: Not started-failed

Important lesson learned: Never Piss Off Xion.

_**~~~~~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~~~~~**_

_**Reviewers Response:**_

_Pyro. Ahlex:_

_Kuro: That means so much to me!_

_Kirei: Thank you so much for your kind review._

_Kuro and Kirei: Until the next chapter, ja ne!_


	4. Love Rivals! Crossover Showdown!

_Kuro: Are you sure it's alright?_

_Kirei: How many times are you going to ask me the question? YES! *notices readers* Oh hi, Kuro just keeps wondering if it's alright for me to write up the whole chapter._

_Kuro: She does most of the work, it's not exact fair, you know?_

_Kirei: If you feel that way about it, then why don't you make me a cake?_

_Kuro: I mean help, not be your servant._

_Kirei: Damn, I thought I would've got him with that….Anyway! Kuro and I do not own Kingdom Hearts nor any of the other animes we're bound to reference to. However, we do own the insanity that is our plotline._

_**~~~~~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~~~~~**_

Riku and Axel were back in their hiding spot of a rock and a tree, with the newly remodeled bush. They also expanded their arsenal with _two_ pairs of binoculars. They were conducting their usual business when a feminine voice said, "Hey, are you stalking Sora?"

"Pft! As if! I'm watching Roxy," Axel commented, not looking at the owner of the voice. Another girl voice asked, "Can _I _join?"

"Look this is a really exc-" the red-head explained as he turned to face the two females that had addressed them. His jaw dropped as he called, "Kairi? Namine?"

At the mention of his best friend's name Riku whipped around, "Holy sh*t! Kairi, this isn't what it looks like!"

Kairi tilted her head, "You mean you're _not_ hiding out in front of Sora's house and peeping on him with those binoculars?"

The teenager said nothing while Namine repeated, "Can _I _join? I mean we have the same interests apparently."

"Me too!" Namine's somebody called.

"No," both of the males replied simultaneously. Both the red-head and her blonde counterpart crossed their arms. She huffed, "Fine, since you don't want to work together, then we'll just return to our suped-up van and continue our own spying."

Expressions of bafflement graced both guys faces, "Your what?"

The girls walked into a vehicle at appeared to be an ice cream truck. They entered the back to reveal loads of high tech computers and other devices seen in many espionage movies. Namine listed, "We have heat vision, ultraviolet vision, night vision, and our personal favorite, X-ray vision. It can see right through their clothes."

Kairi sat on one of the chairs and added, "_Plus_ we keep their favorite ice creams stored here."

"Can we join you?" both males asked, in awe of the machinery. Instantly, the girls grinned before saying, "NO!"

The two were kicked ungracefully from the truck. Axel brushed off the dirt off his coat while he got back to their base. He looked over to his partner, "Uh…Riku? You alright?"

"I knew that xxxxx would one day try and drive a wedge between me and Sora!" the silver-haired guy uncharacteristically cried, "Axel! Whatever plan we had for today, change it to operation: Destroy Kairi and Namine…"

A sweat drop formed on the pyromaniac's brow, "You sure you're no-"

Riku put a hand behind his ear, as if he was eavesdropping, "What's that I hear? Oh I think hear Roxas saying "OH Namine, I didn't know that I could have _this_ much fun with you."

"Oh it's on like Donkey Kong!"

_**~~~~~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~~~~~**_

Sora and Roxas were asleep after staying up until five in the morning playing Bayonetta. They remained peacefully unaware of the battle about to take place…

Outside in their yard was the ice cream truck that Kairi and Namine operated. They prepared to turn on the machine that played the ice cream jingle when suddenly someone called, "Step away from the switch!"

"You really are trying to stop us?" blue eyes glinted in mischief. Her friend told her, "It's been too long but we're going to settle this! Only one pair can have Sora and Roxas and that's gonna be me and Axel!"

Kairi and Namine exited the vehicle and stood unafraid, "We'll just see about that, Riku."

"Enough talk!" the Organization member declared as he held up a card. It had a brown and gold back to it before he flipped over, "I summon the Blue Eyes White Dragon!"

"What the xxxx? This is _not_ Yu-Gi-Oh or Chain of Memories!" The sweet-appearing nobody cursed, as she summoned a staff with a star and wings on the side, "Freeze!"

"And this isn't Cardcaptor Sakura!" Axel shot back as the dragon was frozen. It crackled before shards of ice shot everywhere. The fighters took cover from the debris. Smoke covered the front yard and Axel took the opportunity to charge his next attack. His hands were at his side, "Kame…"

"hame…" Riku's eyes widened. Axel was crazy! He was about to use a high level crossover attack! The teen ducked so he wouldn't get killed. Then the nobody extended his hands as he exclaimed the last syllable, "HA!"

A beam shot out, bee lining straight for Namine. The nobody 'eep'ed before she clasped her hands together and pressed them against the ground. Using alchemy, a duck-shaped form rose from the ground and met the kamehameha. Rocks and dust scattered when the attacks collided.

Meanwhile, Kairi put her hands in a cross-like sign as she called, "Shadow Clone Jutsu!"

The number of Kairis multiplied and outnumbered the male. Way to Dawn was summoned _(Kirei: OH my gosh the first thing actually from the game! Kuro: Back to the fight Kirei.) _and he was about to do a Dark Aura attack when all the red-heads suddenly called, "Sexy Jutsu!"

In a poof of smoke all the Kairis turned into naked with clouds covering the vital parts Soras. In a seductive voice they called, "You wouldn't hurt me, would you Riku?"

Riku had to pinch his nose to keep the blood from gushing out and was failing miserably Damn, the Sora clones were sexy! He just wanted to…the silver-haired guy shook his head. This was Kairi trying to trick him so she could get to Sora. Then he thought, _She's straight. Totally straight…Which means…_

His key blade was dismissed before Riku put his hands on his vest and unzipped it. All the Sora grew red, "R-Riku, what are you doing?"

"You're a girl right? And what's more attractive to a girl than…" He removed his vest and was undoing his shirt underneath to reveal his toned body. No girl that liked guys could deny the bishie body. And sure enough, all the clones and Kairi grew red until blood squirted out their noses, "Too…hot…"

Both Kairi and Riku stumbled over to their partner, and with the most serious eyes said, "We have to finish them…"

The nobodies gulped but complied with their companion. In a flash of light, Axel had turned into an oversized cutting knife while Namine had turned into a scythe. Riku raised the sword into the air above his head at the same time Kairi pulled her scythe back and it grew bigger and changed shaped. All four combatants called, "This is it!"

"Getsuga" the male called at the same time his rival declared, "Demon…"

"TENSHO/HUNTER!" they simultaneously swung their weapons at their enemy. The front yard was destroyed. Earth had been uprooted and scars of battle engraved itself on the dirt. On the ground were four bodies. All of them tired. All of them defeated. They tied…but that means…

"Look Roxas! Ice cream truck!" a familiar brunette exclaimed as he opened the door to his house and dashed out it, not noticing the victims of the battle. The said person stepped out the house and noticed the carnage, "Whoa, what happened to the yard?"

Sora looked back from the ice cream truck and surveyed the damage before promptly waving it off, "Oh Roxas, it's storm season. It's usually much worse! Now what flavor do you want?"

"Sea salt!"

Both of the key blade wielders hadn't noticed the limp forms on the ground that groaned at their exhaustion as their prizes were dangling right in front of them.

Plan 4: Destroy the Love Rivals-Failed

_**~~~~~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~~~~~**_

_Kirei: Done! We used quite a few crossovers for the chapter for fun._

_Kuro: For those of you who don't get the references, we have them for you:_

_1) Blue Eyes White Dragon: Yu-Gi-Oh_

_2) The staff and Freeze: Cardcaptor Sakura_

_3) Kamehameha: Dragonball Z_

_4) Alchemy and duck thingy: Fullmetal Alchemist_

_5) Shadow Cone Jutsu and Sexy Jutsu: Naruto_

_6) Sword and Getsuga Tensho: Bleach_

_7) Scythe and Demon Hunter: Soul Eater_

_Kirei: Sorry if it was confusing but a normal fight between the four them would've been no fun!_

_Kuro: I agree._

_**Reviewers Response:**_

_Pyro. Ahlex:_

_Kirei: Ah, so true, so true…_

_Kuro: Thank you. You're nice! _

_Kirei and Kuro: Well that's it until next time!_


	5. Halloween Special!

It was Halloween at Sora's residence and the two teenagers that resided there were preparing for the night. Sora was in the costume he wore when he went to Halloween Town while Roxas putting on his costume. He glanced over at the bowl of stuff he was supposed to give, which were Polaroids.

"C'mon Sora, look at the lens!" his best friend cried before a flash blinked. The brunette sighed as he walked over to his childhood companion, "Riku, are you sure about this? I mean I don't think people would want Polaroids of _me_."

"Of course they would want pictures of you, Sora," the silver haired guy said as he slipped some of the photos into his knight costume. "it's a…unique to give out. Yeah! That's it…"

He shrugged, "Whatever you say, Riku. Oh, by the way I think you left a camera in my room, let me get it."

He dashed out the room. Internally Riku groaned he was hoping that the key blade wielder wouldn't find the video camera so he could watch the teen while he was asleep. Maybe putting "Property off Riku" didn't help…the knight-clad shrugged it off while a figure entered in a black cloak and a scythe. Instantly, Riku ran out the door, yelling "Oh my god save me! I don't wanna have my virginity stolen!"

The cloaked person scratched their head before removing their hood to reveal Roxas, "Wow, I must've been really scary. I knew this Grim Reaper costume would work."

Unlike his somebody, Roxas actually had candy to give out. He'd never done Halloween but Sora explained the logics…what the hell, there are no logistics to the holiday! His somebody was still looking for the camera that Riku left when the doorbell rang. Roxas opened the door to see…the Human Torch, "Hey Axel, uh trick or treat?"

Suddenly the red-head glomped the blonde haired nobody, "Yes, I'll take both treats!"

"Huh? Axel, what are you doing?" Roxas wondered, "You're supposed to take some candy."

The pyromaniac then realized that his actions and sheepishly scratched his head, "Oh, right, um…trick or treat?"

The nobody gave a few mini chocolates and bid his friend, "Happy Halloween."

As soon as Roxas closed the door, Sora came back down with the camera, "Roxas, have you seen Riku? He was just down here…"

A triumphant smirk graced his nobody's face, "My costume scared him!"

"What is it? Cause all I see is you in the Organization cloak," a frown replaced his face as he pulled up the hood and grabbed his scythe, "Oh~ So you're dressing up as Marluxia for Halloween!"

The dual-wielding key blade user ran up the stairs so fast, it was blur and the door slammed behind him, "Hell no!"

Before Sora could ask what was bothering his other self, the door bell rang. He opened the door to see Kairi in a princess outfit, "Trick or treat!"

"Hi Kairi, um…all I have are these Polaroids of me. Sorry," Sora sheepishly. However, Kairi just looked wide-eyed. They. Were. Perfect! She snatched the whole bowl in a heartbeat and ran off. The key blade master just blinked, "Wow, she must've been in such a hurry she accidentally took my bowl. I guess I have to use some of the extra candy Roxas had…"

Sora went into the kitchen just as Roxas entered with a vampire costume on, "This one for sure."

The doorbell rang, "Rox, can you get that?"

He opened the door to meet…a girl in a witch costume that he recognized as Namine, "Oh Namine, trick or treat."

Like what happened with Axel, she glomped him, "I'll take them both!"

"This is the second time this night that his happened," the blonde noted, as he put candy in the witch's bag, "Um Namine, shouldn't you be getting to another house?"

"Huh? Oh yeah…um Happy Halloween?" she sadly said as she regrettably let go. Closing the door, Sora came back out with his new bowl of goodies, "Now you're Edward Cullen right?"

"Oh c'mon!" Roxas cried indignantly. He was about to change again when the doorbell summoned them to the door, they opened it to reveal, Xemnas in a superhero outfit with the letter S on his chest with Saix at his side as a dog. The Key of Destiny nearly choked, "S-Superior? Saix? You're trick or treating?"

The leader of the Organization raised a brow at the two boys, "Is there a problem with that?"

Both unanimously answered, "Nope! Happy Halloween!"

They dumped some candy in and slammed the door, and shuddered, "That left images…"

"Horrible, horrible images…" Roxas shivered before rushing up the stairs to change his costume. Again! The vampire, bat hybrid dressed Destiny Island resident opened the door yet again to see Roxas' look-alike in a ninja costume with an adult little red riding hood behind him and…was that a guy in a puppy get-up. The youngest called, "Trick or treat."

Sora held out his bowl of candy, "Ven, Aqua, Terra, what are you doing here?"

"We the master's strict about the sugar we get so we're out getting free candy and all the sugar we can! Bwahahaha!" Ven cried. Aqua smiled, "As you can see Ven already had too much candy."

"It was only 5 chocolates, 8 twizzlers, 17 tootsie rolls, and 3 laffy taffy! Now let's go before the master finds us!" the boy whined before turning on heel. Terra tried to go right after the young key blade wielder, when Aqua yanked his leash, "Down, bad Terra! Goodnight Sora."

He waved before closing the door to find Roxas there. He was in pair of slacks, dressy shirt with a chain hanging off it along with a fedora and a cane, "Bow down to your master!"

"And you are…?"

"I'm a pimp, what else?" the brunette only tilted his head and asked, "What's a pimp?"

"And you're my somebody?" Roxas face palmed, as there was a knock. Right there was a girl in a kimono and a guy that look like… "Heartless!"

The guy called, "No wait I'm not a Heartless, Kirei help!" Sora summoned the Kingdom Key and whapped the guy on the head. The girl commented, "And that's what you get for fusing with a Neo-Shadow, Kuro"

Kuro didn't answer and instead just continued to twitch. Roxas came up and exclaimed, "Sora! Bad! Bad Sora! You don't hit people dressed like a Heartless! Now go to your room! No trick or treaters for three rounds."

"But-"

"Now."

"But-"

His nobody said, "That's it put the costume on the bed on now _and don't' come out until I say so."_

_Defeated, Sora hung his head as he trudged up the stairs muttering something about it being an accident and that it was the boy's fault. Roxas turned to the duo at the door, "Sorry about that…is he okay?"_

"_Oh just fine!" Kirei piped, as she held onto her friend by the arm, and blood spurted, "Eventually! Now give candy, please."_

_Roxas gave a lot in apology to the two trick or treaters. Though it was weird, the kimono girl didn't seem concerned for her friend, "Onto the next house, Kuro!"_

"_I can't feel my head…"_

_His complaint was unheard as the girl took off running for the next house. From their hideout Riku and Axel peered and awaited for when their love interests ran out of candy so they could initiate operation: after-all-normal-treats-are-out-get-a-special-treat-*wink*-*wink*. They awaited until there was one lone trick or treater left._

_Both Sora and Roxas answered the door. Roxas was still in his pimp outfit with Sora at his side in a miniskirt and halter top with heels. His hair was brushed down like a girl's. And to top it off, he had a leash, which Roxas was holding. From his hiding spot Riku was gushing blood, "I've seen heaven and it's Sora wearing girl's clothes…"_

_At the door was Xion in a normal sized version of her final form, "Trick or treat."_

"_Sorry Xion, we ran out of candy," Roxas said, accidentally tugging at Sora's leash, "Ouch Roxas, not so hard."_

"_That's that she said."_

"_Oh yeah?" Sora replied and tugged at the leash. Roxas, unfortunately, lost balance and fell on his somebody. And even worse, they fell onto the ground and their lips met. Complete yoai moment! Everyone's jaw dropped. None of them started their plan and Sora and Roxas managed to foil them. On complete accident!_

_Plan 5: Halloween Treat-Failed._


	6. Birth By Sleep Guest Stars!

_Kirei: Hey every-*sees Kuro* Halloween's over, why do you still look like a Heartless?_

_Kuro: Well I looked into it with Zexion and Vexen-_

_Kirei: Ew! _

_Kuro: I know they're the worst._

_Kirei: *mutters* Vexen is…_

_Kuro: And…well apparently when you do the fusion with those earrings from Dragonball Z you're only supposed to do it in the Dragonball Z world otherwise…It's permanent._

_Kirei: Wow, that sucks._

_Kuro: Not really, I mean I still look cool. Especially with the antennas._

_Kirei: *flicks the antenna*_

_Kuro: Ow!_

_Kirei: Anyway, Kuro and I do not own Kingdom Hearts! We do own our ideas, now on with the show!_

_**~~~~~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~~~~~**_

"Sora, I wanna play Mario Kart!" Roxas whined to his somebody. The said somebody then sighed, "But Roxas it's just you and me."

"Yeah, if only we had someone else to play with us…" the blonde thought aloud. Both boys sighed. When suddenly an idea popped in the key blade wielder's head, "Hey, hey, Roxas, I got an idea."

Roxas ducked under the table, "Oh god it's the apocalypse!"

The brunette, being the naïve guy that he was, asked, "What's that supposed to mean **(A/N: Kirei: Just count how many times Sora says that phrase! Kuro: Kirei, quit interrupting the story!)**? Anyway! How about we do the State Farm jingle?"

"That is the stupidest thing you ever-" Sora interrupted his other half when he sang, "_Like a good neighbor, state farm is there,_ with someone to play with us!"

In a puff of smoke appeared…Ventus! He looked around, clearly confused, "Uh…how'd I get here?"

Sitting in a sagely way that imitated Yen Sid, the young key blade bearer replied, "By the magic of state farm."

"Wow, it actually works," Roxas said before he snuck to the next room and sang, "_Like a good neighbor, state farm is there, _with a bowl of sea salt ice cream!"

The bowl suddenly appeared, "I have found the key to life and it comes in a cheesy catchphrase."

_**~~~~~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~~~~~**_

Outside of Sora's residence on Destiny Islands, were the two perverts known as Riku and Axel. They were in their rock hideout since after the Halloween plot, the pyromaniac burned both the bush and tree to a crisp. Axel peeped out his binoculars, "Oh man, I'm seeing double vision-"

"-Axel I swear if you start singing that 3oh!3 song, I'm gonna murder you," Riku deadpanned.

"No, not that! I seriously am seeing double! I see _two_ Roxas!" he thrust the binoculars to his partner. Green spheres peered to really see Roxas and someone that looked like Roxas, "Whoa, there is! Who the hell is that?"

A voice answered, "I believe I can answer that."

Suddenly a portal opened and an armor-clad person on a floating, bike-like thingy. The bike turned into a key blade before dissolving and in a flash of light revealed…"Terra!"

"Hey, Riku…uh…guy I don't know." the guy said.

"Axel. A-X-E-L, got it memorized?" the pyromaniac spelled out, while Terra just blinked and asked Riku, "Does he do that often?"

"Not as often as he is drooling," the silver-haired teen admitted, "but what brings you to Destiny Island?"

The brunette explained as he used the binoculars, "Um an insurance sign suddenly whisked Ven away and I tracked it here. What are you doing?"

Axel and Riku glanced as each other before saying, "Trying to capture Sora and Roxas."

"And Ven is with them! Mind if I join you?" Terra asked as he spied his love interest in the window. The other guys shrugged, "Why not? Have a plan?"

"Yes. We need some colored bombs."

_**~~~~~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~~~~~**_

"Alright! I'm winning!" Sora cried as he steered his Wii remote. To answer the question in your head: Yes, Sora has like every game system available. He's a rich kid in disguise!

"Not for long Sora!" Ventus called as he jerked his remote. From behind them tumbled in an armored person. Glancing from the game for a brief second, the other BBS character greeted, "Hey Aqua!"

Roxas cackled as he declared, "Eat my ink!"

Black splattered on Ven's part of the screen, making him veer off the track, "NO! Roxas you Heartless!"

"Actually I'm a nobody."

"Whatever!"

A sweat dropped formed on Aqua's head as she deactivated her armor. She walked over, "So let me get this straight, you're not in any trouble?"

"Nuh-uh." her friend said, half attentive as he tried to get revenge on Roxas. The Key blade Master sighed, "And you're not kidnapped?"

"If it is, don't save me!" Ven whined as he finished the race in 4th thanks to the copy of himself. Aqua had to chuckle, at least he was having fun. She decided to stick around and let Ven have some fun before going back to the Land of Departure. The blue-haired girl stepped into the kitchen to get a snack when a voice suddenly called, "Launch them now! Now!"

Green, pink, and blue smoke filled the room. Aqua coughed, unable to see what was going on. Then she was surprised by a net that entangled her. She heard a voice cry, "Success!"

The poor magic using key blade wielder was drug outside. There she came face to face with… "Terra! What the hell are you doing?"

"Oh sh*t," the said guy cursed as he said to his cohorts, "we didn't nab any of them."

"What so no Sora?"

"Or Roxas?"

Sadly, the brunette shook his head, "We only got Aqua."

"What the hell? We don't even catch a _guy_?" Axel complained, "I thought you said we'd get at least _one _of our love interests! Not some chick with large boobs."

Suddenly offended the girl incredulously asked in an ominous, "_Excuse me?_"

The BBS guy recognized the tone and was suddenly afraid, "Axel…"

"And not only that, a pretty useless one too…"

An anime vein appeared on the female's head. Slowly, Terra began backing away with Riku following suit while Axel continued. That's when he was suddenly grabbed by the arm, spun around, and thrown right into the male key bearers. With an ungodly strength, the lady tore through the net, "I know what you are, you're perverts! And you're after Ven, Roxas, and Sora! But after that comment I'm gonna make sure you won't get your hands on them!"

"Aqua can't we jus-" Terra tried to reason but then saw what she had in her possession, the shot lock. He gulped as he prepared for the pain as a bunch of rainbow colored lights blasted him and his newfound partners halfway across the island.

Plan 6: Smoke bombs and Nets-Failed

New Threat: A pissed off Aqua

_**~~~~~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~~~~~**_

_**Reviewers Response:**_

_Mimi Chase:_

_Kuro: Thank you_

_Kirei: We try._

_Maria Starlight:_

_Kuro: You haven't read a KH fanfic before?_

_Kirei: Well neither have you!_

_Kuro: Yes I have._

_Kirei: Ours doesn't count_

_Pyro. Ahlex:_

_Kuro: WE tried to make it epic._

_Kirei: Thanks a lot. Oh, by the way, I didn't know you watched Cowboy Bebop or Black Cat. Train's awesome is he not?_


	7. Aqua's Revenge Part 1

_Kirei: Hey ya readers!_

_Kuro: Sorry for the late updates. Kirei's been busy._

_Kirei: My bad, so let's start the show._

_Kuro: Wait what about the disclaimer?_

_Kirei: Oh right! Disclaimer: Kuro and I do not own Kingdom Hearts nor any anime/game/movie references we are bound to use!_

_**~~~~~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~~~~~**_

It was nighttime and the guys had already left for the day. That left Aqua alone with the trio that the girl swore that they could pass for triplets. She had been nearly smothered by smoke, caught in a net, and insulted. She was not happy about the trio of perverts that were seeking the boys playing video games yet again.

Then a smile graced her face. An evil smile. Aqua decided she would have her revenge but first, she needed to do some research.

The blue-haired key blade master was on the couch watching TV when Sora, Roxas, and Ventus entered. They needed a break from their game of Super Smash Brothers and plopped on the couch with the girl. Ven questioned, "Uh Aqua, why are taking notes on Home Alone?"

"Oh no reason. No reason at all," she lied, "Um, Sora when does your stores close?"

Sora lazily glanced at the clock, "At 10, why?"

"Just curious." she smiled again.

"Aqua…" Ven scooted closer to his look alike, "you're starting to look scary…"

Oh, the blonde had no idea…no idea at all…

_**~~~~~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~~~~~**_

The next day, Terra, Riku, and Axel arrived yet again to their hideout of a rock. They were reviewing their plan. They decided to just charge in and take what they wanted. Then Terra glanced at the house to notice the face of evil. The brunette paled before he asked, "Aqua, what have you done?"

"Me?" she gestured to herself innocently, "I did nothing but did a few…alterations to the house. You can come in."

Axel was prepared to run to the house. He could finally get _his_ Roxas! That was when the key blade master's arm stopped him. Terra pointed out a bunch of leaves gathered on the ground, "She's trying to trick you."

He began walking around the cluster, "Nice try, Aquuuuuuuaaaaaaa!"

As soon as the brunette stepped in front of the clump of leaves, the ground broke from under him, and he landed in a pit. A growling was heard and Terra slowly turned his head to face a tiger. He screamed, "AQUAAAAA! A Burmese tiger trap doesn't actually have a tiger in it!"

"Oh really? My mistake," she said. From the pits you could hear the sounds of tiger's roar and screaming. Aqua returned to the house. Both Axel and Riku approached the pit and cringed at their friend was being attacked, "Ouch."

"Pull me out!"

"And risk falling in? No thanks," Riku said. Then Terra cried, "Aqua you-"

_**~~~~~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~~~~~**_

Inside the house Aqua had all her charges besides her and she put her hands over their ears. Sora called, loudly, "Uh, Aqua, we can't hear."

"That's good Sora, very good." Very good indeed since Terra started cursing every word in every language.

_**~~~~~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~~~~~**_

Meanwhile, Riku and Axel split up to find a way into the house. Riku went to the entrance to the basement while Axel decided to take the direct approach and go through the front door. The red-haired nobody started to the stairs when he noticed a bed of nails right in front of them. Cautiously, he stepped around it and ascended the stairs.

Suddenly, he lost his footing and fell on his back. Right onto the bed of nails. Green eyes reexamined the stairs to see a thin layer of ice on the steps. His mouth hung open before a scream matching the pitch of a girl rang.

Riku flinched at the sound, "Whoa…that sounds like that hurt."

He reached the back door to the basement and began to climb down the stairs…3...2...1... "Holy sh*t!"

Unfortunately like Axel, Riku fell onto his back against the stairs and slid down the stairs. He lie on the gap between the stairs and the door as he eyes noticed what was on the stairs, "Ice."

He brushed himself off and walked into the door. The basement, like most, were dark and stony. Riku walked along until he got to the stairs that led to the first floor of Sora's home. The guy began to climb the stairs when he felt his tennis shoes stuck. He looked down to notice the tar on the steps. "Nice try Aqua but me and Sora watch Home Alone every year."

Riku stood onto top of his shoes and jumped to the top of the stairs. He opened the door…only to be bombarded with a bunch of key blades on his head. Dazed from the hits the key blade wielder fell back down the stairs. Tar got all onto his hair and clothes and he met an ungraceful end at the bottom the stairs when the key blades fell down the stairs. And onto him, "Oh god no!"

It was apparent from their first few minutes of assault, that getting into the house would not be easy…

_**~~~~~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~~~~~**_

_Kirei: Well that ends Part 1 of Aqua's Revenge!_

_Kuro: That has gotta hurt for all of the them…_

_Kirei: Well who cares? Onto the reviews!_

_**Reviewers Response:**_

_Mimi Chase:_

_Kirei: That is true…_

_Kuro: And to think that Kirei thought of that herself. Didn't know you had it in you to be random._

_Kirei: What's that supposed to mean?_

_Oak-chan:_

_Kuro: She is someone to be feared…and admired…_

_Kirei: Well OF course I'm into Kingdom Hearts! What kind of gamer doesn't?_

_Maria Starlight:_

_Kirei: Yeah, well the game are awesome. But don't feel bad, Kuro's never read a fanfic before we wrote this together._

_Kuro: And I still can't write by myself since I don't have internet at home…_

_Kirei: It'll be yours one day Kuro…one day…_


	8. Christmas Special!

_Kirei: Ara, ara, I can't believe how much time flies. Its two days after Christmas! (hey, no one takes down their Christmas stuff until New Years and I started this on Christmas Eve so I'm finishing it)_

_Kuro: No kidding and we're done with our gym class together._

_Kirei: Damn, that puts a slight damper on our brainstorming session—Yes, we brainstormed all our idea while we were working out, got a problem with it?_

_Kuro: But fear not! In the course of our class we've draft about 40+ ideas so Kirei's going to be writing for a while…Sucks to be you._

_Kirei: Not so much, there are so many insane ideas to do!_

_Kuro: But for now we must write what we can! Disclaimer: we do not own Kingdom Hearts or any of the references we might make!_

_**~~~~~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~~~~~**_

_Previously on Operation: Capture Sora and Roxas…_

"_Aqua, what have you done?"_

_"Me?" she gestured to herself innocently, "I did nothing but did a few…alterations to the house. You can come in."_

*screen fizzles to show a new scene*

Kirei and Kuro are sitting a news desk. On the front of the desk says OCSR Channel 5. They were launching rubber bands at each other. The elastic was flung through the air when a voice suddenly called, "Quit that! You're on!"

Both pause mid launch and turn to the camera where they see a red light on. Kuro wondered through his forced smile, "We are?"

"Why didn't you warn us _before_ it came to us, you idiot?" Kirei asked through her plastered smile. The heartless hybrid removed the rubber bands from his ears while the girl smoothed her hair. They gathered their papers and straightened them.

Now looking professional, Kuro gave another TV grins as she said, "We interrupt the previously scheduled program for this announcement."

The duo jumped onto the desks and threw papers and Kuro donned a Santa hat while Kirei had a reindeer headband. With bells in hand got close to the camera and cried, "IT'S ALMOST CHRISTMAS!"

"So in honor of Christmas, we are making a Christmas special!" the girl shouted as she whirled a noisemaker. Kuro took off his hat and tossed the magic dust that was within it, "And we are starting now! Enjoy!"

_**~~~~~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~~~~~**_

It was Christmas Eve and everyone gathered in Twilight Town at Roxas' residence since Destiny Islands can't have snow. Sora and Roxas were hosting a Christmas party and invited everyone to the party—including the authors and the Organization.

Garlands with lights and ribbons hung from the walls. Wreaths were on the doors. A Christmas tree shone brightly in the corner of the living room—the center of the festivities.

But although it was the holiday season, it didn't stop Riku and Axel from their plans of getting their love interests. They had one of the simplest methods of getting something from their loves and they thanked the fact it was related to the holiday. What was their genius plan? IT hung from the ceiling innocently at the doorway from the living room to the hall.

Mistletoe

They were going to trick Sora and Roxas under it and get their kiss! It was a perfect plan…but they had to figure out how to get them under the greenery. So they did the easiest method, "Hey, Sora, Roxas, could you come here for a minute?"

The said people nodded and walked over in their sweaters when the mistletoe suddenly fell. Both Riku and Axel prepared to pick it up when the girls were walking by and accidentally stepped on it. They jawdropepd as the duo reached them. Sora called, "What's up Riku? Oh, we must've tracked some stuff from outside."

Roxas picked broken remains of the mistletoe, "Sorry 'bout that. Hey, what's with that look?"

Axel had to hide his tears, "Nothing…nothing at all…"

"Alright then, so ja!" Roxas went to throw away the plant while Sora tended to the partygoers. Riku wondered, "What do we do now? That was the only piece we had."

"I believe I can help with that," a voice from the shadows informed. They turned towards the hallway to see the cloaked figure. Axel cried, "Hey! You're the guy I got that drug from!"

Everything seemed to pause as everyone in the room looked at the pyromaniac crazily. His partner inched away from him and blended in with the rest the party. A sweat drop formed on the red-head's brow as he scoot out of view in the hall, "You. You gave me some crap drugs. How the hell does it not work on sea salt ice cream?"

"If I took the painfully long process of explaining the chemistry I'm certain your brain would be fried," X told him. "So just take this mistletoe and try and get that Christmas kiss."

"The only thing I heard from you was take mistletoe and kiss." Axel said before he snatched the poor piece of shrubbery before rushing to set it up—unknowingly dropping berries from it.

Once it was set up, he frantically looked for his love interest. He saw Riku, "Riku! Where's Sora and Roxas? We need to get that kiss."

Riku glanced around the living room, "I…don't know…the kitchen!"

They duo ran through the door to the kitchen and looked around. That's when they heard the doorbell and their loves answering it. They cut through the dining area to enter the hall. Only to see Xion under the mistletoe. With Sora and Roxas…Damn.

"Oh look, mistletoe," Xion pointed out. The keyblade wielders stared confused at it. She noticed this, "It's a superstition about these. They say that people under the mistletoe must kiss or bad things will happen. And for every kiss we pluck a berry from it."

Blue eyes gazed at it until they stared at their nobody/somebody, "I guess we have no choice but to do it. I mean we don't want Xion have bad luck."

Simultaneously they kissed Xion's cheeks. She smiled as she noticed Axel and Riku as she pulled the last berry off the plant, "And when all the berries are plucked, no one can kiss under it again."

Neither of the guys could hide their tears, "Why…? Why…does she keep winning?"

"Because Kirei likes her," a voice said. This time they turned to see Kuro sitting at the table. "And I do too so we're fulfilling our Christmas wish!"

"And what about us?"

Kirei came up eating a piece of cake, "What _about_ you? You're just our comedic relief."

Riku and Axel gaped. They couldn't get any love, not even on Christmas.

Plan 7: Mistletoe Kiss—Failed

_**~~~~~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~~~~~**_

_Kirei: Chapter done and before New Years!_

_Kuro: Yep and now you can finish the Home Alone chapter._

_Kirei: In due time…_

_**Reviewers Response:**_

_Maria Starlight:_

_Kirei: Ah, who knows?_

_Kuro: They'll face so lot more and maybe some fates worse than this!_

_Oak-chan:_

_Axel: You think it was deserved?_

_Kuro: Yeah, it sorta was!_

_Mimi Chase:_

_Kuro: Yes, Aqua is evil._

_Kirei: Sure you could just make traps but isn't kick their butt even better?_

_Pyro. Ahlex:_

_Kuro: She is smart enough but—_

_Kirei: They aren't smart enough to figure that out._

_Hpalabay:_

_Kirei: Thank you_

_Kuro: Oh you thought that was crazy? Just wait until we make Sora and Roxas-_

_Kirei: No spoilers!_


	9. Aqua's Revenge Part 2

_Kirei: Hey minna!_

_Kuro: We're sorry about the lack of updating. Kirei's losing sanity_

_Kirei: I'm not losing what I never had._

_Kuro: Anyway, DISCLAIMER: we do not own Kingdom Hearts or any of the references we make!_

_**~~~~~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~~~~~**_

Terra was furious. He was going to get in whether it cost him his life, though he sincerely prayed that is wouldn't come to that. He already knew going through the front door was futile. Axel was still stiff on the bed of nails shrieking. So he had to opt for another entrance. His answer came as a perch one floor up.

The window.

Even better that there was a vine-covered ladder leading up to the window. Thinking himself smart, Terra ascended up the ladder. A sharp pain jolted him to his senses. He yelped, clutching his hand as he noticed a nail sticking in it. He fell back wards, screaming, "AQUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAA!"

And he landed…right onto a dirt-cover pit with a horde of wild dogs inside. "Oh my spleen! Oh my frickin' God, why are they eating me?"

Oh. Did we forget to mention they were starving wild dogs?

Meanwhile Axel finally got over his shock (or was delirious from blood loss) and got off the bed of nails. Also like Terra, he opted for a new entry into his love's somebody's house. And also like Terra he went for the window—the window on the first floor. Axel reached the window expecting to pry it open. However…it slid up with no resistance.

Thinking Aqua had slipped, he grinned triumphantly as he straddled the opening. The pyromaniac bumped his head, making the window slid further up. CLANG! A hot iron dropped—released by a trap connected to the window. It fell hard on Axel's head, and made him hit his pride hard against the windowsill. He fell outside and landed…right on his chakrams. Axel opened his mouth in silent pain for a moment before he screamed in a crescendo.

Riku groaned as he sat up. He heard two girlish screams from his comrades…Riku had to feel sorry for them. They were probably abused and bleeding, so in comparison, the teenager was better off. Normally, the silver-haired guy would call it quits while he was still ahead, but either feeling gutsy or having a concussion, Riku decided to push his luck. He glided up the stairs and was in the house. It was eerily quiet on the first floor of Sora's residence but he heard whoops faintly from upstairs.

Silently crept the pervert as he went to the stairway. Once he was there, green eyes widened as they noticed the figure at the top of the stairs. Aqua. The teen said, "End of the line. I'm in the house so what more can you do?"

"Oh Riku, Riku, Riku…" Aqua shook her head while clicking her tongue, "Poor naïve Riku. You shouldn't ask questions like that. You might regret the answer."

A devilish smile graced her lips before her glider flew by and tripped the teen. He fell flat on his back, "This is nothing…"

Riku stumbled on his feet just in time for a paint can to hit him in the head. This time he tumbled back against the door. His eyes widened as wayfinders flew at his body. He was pinned to the door before he saw another thing fly right at him—a lightcycle, "Oh c'mon o—"

He couldn't finish his statement as the vehicle rammed him out the door and onto Terra and Axel, who crawled away from the window.

You think that was it, didn't you? A whistle was heard before they heard the Devil's favorite demon call, "Anti-Hentai Defense Brigade, fall in!"

On the roof, which was magically gained a flat top on it, was Aqua and she wasn't alone. There with her were Sora, Roxas, and Ventus. They all had suits comprised of black pants and blazer with gold accents (A/N: Think of the ones in 07-Ghost!). The entire group adorned a matching hat and Aqua donned an armband that read: "Brigade Leader." Honestly, the trio on the ground would've had nosebleeds by seeing their love interests cross dress if it weren't for what was in their possession—rocket launchers.

From the distance, the authors were looking and enjoying the show as Aqua cried, "Fire one!"

Ven cheered as he put his rocket launcher over the railing. Terra squeaked, "N-Now Ven you d-don't wanna do this…"

"Fire!" the young keyblade wielder cackled as he pulled the trigger. The rocket hit its target, leaving a burned and semi-conscious Terra on the ground. Roxas pull his over his shoulder as their leader ordered, "Fire two!"

"Et tu, Roxas?" Axel mournfully asked as a barrage of missiles bombarded his body. He landed beside his fallen comrade, only leaving one man standing. An evil grin developed on Aqua's face as she told Sora, "Fire three!"

Sora struggled to aim the huge bazooka he was given. He aimed and was blown back by the recoil. But the rocket was on course when Riku suddenly put Terra in front of him, "Meat shield!"

Terra called, "Hey! Who's side are you on?"

"Fire four!" This time Roxas braced his somebody as the bazooka fired. Unfortunately this wasn't enough as the two were pushed against the railing. Meanwhile Riku laughed maniacally as he pulled Axel in front of him, "Meat shield!"

The misses were starting to tick Aqua off as she demanded, "Fire five! Fire six! Fire seven!"

This time the trio held onto the bazooka and pulled its trigger. The silver-haired teen continued his laughter as he used his two partners as protection, "Double meat shield!"

Sora clicked the trigger but nothing came out, "Uh, Aqua, we're out of ammo."

"What?" Blue eyes narrowed at the chuckling coming from below, "Ha!"

A rock came from behind and hit the guy in the head. The heartless hybrid, Kuro, scolded, "Kirei! We're not supposed to interfere!"

"What makes you think _I_ interfered?" Kirei innocently asked. Kuro cleared his throat as he gestured to her dirt covered hand, "What? Just because of the dirt? I'm sitting in the dirt dude!"

Everyone sweat dropped at the authors' conversation as Aqua took the opportunity to use her shot lock to blast the last of the three perverts onto a suspiciously bent tree. She cut the rope holding the palm tree down, sending the poor silverette into another world.

_**~~~~~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~~~~~**_

"So who will be my next victim?" the beloved American icon known as Mickey Mouse wondered. All of his servants—Donald and Goofy included—fled. Suddenly Riku crashed through the ceiling and right before the King. A wolfish smile spread on the mouse's face.

"A bishounen…" he pulled down on the sterile rubber gloves he was wearing, "this is will do nicely…"

From outside the castle you can hear the screams of an agonized teenager cry, "Oh my frickin' God! Somebody save me from this perverted mouse!"

Plan 8: Defeat Aqua and Win—Failed

_**~~~~~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~~~~~**_

_**Reviewers Response:**_

_kILLjOY1313:_

_Kuro: Kirei look! It's another reviewer! Hello!_

_Kirei: *waves* Thank you, we do try to make it funny._

_Kuro: And painful. Mainly for Axel and Riku._

_Kirei: Mainly Axel._

_Maria Starlight:_

_Kirei: Them?_

_Kuro: Think it out?_

_Both: *burst out laughing* Good one!_

_hpalabay:_

_Kuro: No, not a goddess. An author and an authoress—the next best thing._

_:_

_Kirei: Oh trust me, they can fail without even doing anything. _


	10. Puppy Love

"Kirei, I have finally got another method to stop Riku and Axel!" Kuro told his co-writer, who unimpressed. Kirei asked, "Why do we have to do anything? They just foil themselves."

The Heartless hybrid exclaimed, "We shall leave nothing to chance! And here is my secret weapon!"

He pulled something from behind his back. It was a small rough Jack Russell Terrier. It gave a small 'yip' and the authoress went, "Kyaa~! It's so cute! Can we keep it?"

"No! We have to use it-"

"He!" Kirei corrected. Kuro wasn't about to ask how she knew that so he continued, "-him to stop Axel and Riku!"

The girl raised a brow, "And how, may I dare ask, will you do that?"

In a swift motion the Heartless pushed the puppy on the road, "By having it get run over and Sora and Roxas take it in!"

"What NOOOOO!" Kirei cried, trying to go after the Jack Russell Terrier. Her co-writer grabbed her and opened a dark portal. He drug her in, "Puppy! I'm soorrrrryyyyy!"

With that they vanished and reappeared on a hill too far for Kirei to run back after the puppy. (Yeah, she cannot use dark portals) She had anime tears in her eyes, "You're a monster!"

"I think we already established that," Kuro gestured to his mutated body as he examined the scene. The puppy was by himself on the empty street. Then over the hill came an 18-wheeler. A look of horror graced Kirei's face and seemed ready to faint. The red and blue-painted truck didn't appear to see the puppy as they were centimeters from intersecting.

ZOOM!

Once the 18-wheeler passed, Kirei cheered while Kuro gaped, "How the hell did it miss?"

Indeed the little fur ball was unharmed by the truck. The little pup went back towards the sidewalk where it tripped and sprained its paw. A sweat drop escaped from the author, "Not what I expected but does the job."

"Kuro take me back! Puppy!" his companion sobbed.

Meanwhile, the puppy began whimpering in pain. And all the way up the street and around the corner, Sora told his nobody, "My hero senses are tingling! Roxas, someone needs help!"

"Let's go already then!" the duo dashed out the door. Sora using his hero sense to find the distressed creature. They were coming down the street when they came upon the injured, "Puppy!"

Sora cradled the pup while Roxas examined the damage, "He hurt his leg."

"Let's take him home! But what to name him?" the Keyblade wielder pondered. His nobody shrugged. Both put a hand to their chins, "Hm..."

In sync they both thought aloud, "Hoshi!"

With their temporary charge, Hoshi, both teens rushed back to their home to treat the puppy. They had helped the little terrier with bandaging and playing with him.

Suddenly the door burst open with Riku and Axel in the doorway. The two oblivious teen waved, "Hi Axel, Riku, we found a puppy. We named him Hoshi."

"Uh huh, that's cool..." the red-haired man called, inching towards both with his hands behind his back. Roxas tilted his head in confusion, "Axel, why's your hands behind your back?"

Instead of answering the two partners in crime hit their love interests over the head with a mallet. The keyblade wielders tumbled onto the floor, unconscious. Both the pyromaniac and keybearer gaped. They won. They actually succeeded. They could finally have their way!

A whimper shattered their dreams as the schemers glanced down at the dog between their unconscious loves. Axel cursed, "Damn we forgot about the dog. Let's just put it in the closet."

"Axel! That's animal abuse! They kill people for that!" Riku cried.

"Then let's just do it here." his partner shrugged. A horror-stricken expression flashed on the silver-haired teen's face, "Not in front of the puppy!"

"Why not?"

"Arf..." Axel glanced from the green eyes of his companion to the wide...cute...eyes..."Argh! I see your point, so what are we going to do?"

"I'm going to my house with Sora," Riku pointed out. Then the Flurry of Dancing Flames said, "I'll go too."

"There's only one place we could do it and that's my room so I have dibs on it." he reasoned. "You can stay here."

"Like hell I will!"

Riku crossed his arms, "Then how do you suggest we settle this?"

Axel shook his head in disbelief at his partner's cluelessness, "Riku, we're both gentlemen. So let's settle it in gentlemanly manner. Rock, paper, scissors!"

They held a fist in front of the other, "Rock, paper, scissors!"

Both held an open palm. Paper. BLINK. BLINK. Axel cried, "Again!"

"Rock, paper, scissors!"

Both had rock. Riku exclaimed, dismayed, "Again!"

This went like this until the next morning. They were still going when Sora and Roxas stirred. The brunette sat up, "Ow, it feels like what happened when I crashed from all the sugar."

"That was yesterday, Sora..." Roxas moaned as he sat up. Hoshi barked as he leapt onto the teen's lap. The terrier licked Roxas' face, "Hahaha, good morning to you too, Hoshi. Let's get you to the shelter. I know someone'll adopt you."

Sora nodded, "Hey, Riku, Axel, wanna join us?"

The said guys were too busy that they hadn't heard the keyblade wielder's call. The oblivious duo shrugged their shoulders before bolting out the door. That was when Riku triumphantly cried, "Rock beats scissors! I win!"

"Wait, where'd they go?" the red-haired looked desperately. Both looked at the other...and face palmed.

**~~~~~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~**_**AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~~~~~**_

_**Reviewers Response**_

_hpalabay:_

_Kuro: Haha, Pedo-Mouse..._

_Kirei: Thank you, I pride myself on that._

_Maria Starlight:_

_Kuro: I'm not sure if a flea covers that..._

_Kirei: That and if they had brains, they would've had Sora and Roxas already._

_DemonNinjaOfTheLeaf48:_

_Kuro: Kirei! Look! Another reviewer!_

_Kirei: I see Kuro. Well don't mind using the word 'awesome' because it's well, awesome._

_:_

_Kuro: Poor Riku, he had to be a bishounen..._


	11. Oh no! Axel's Snapped!

Riku strolled towards Sora's house to the hideout he and Axel shared. However once he arrived onto of the hill, his jaw went slack. The tree, rock, and bush along with anything in a 10 feet vicinity were incinerated. And in the center of the scorched earth was his partner, Axel, who appeared extremely pissed.

The pyromaniac's green eyes glared at the teen as he approached. Riku asked, "Uh Axel…? Are you alright?"

"Just fine," he said. "Everything's just peachy! Like who cares that we've failed every plan we've done so far? Or the fact that a REPLICA has bested us TWICE! Or that a we were foiled by a girl—"

"—Well Xion is a girl and Aqua is a keyblade master…" Riku tried to reason in order to get the nobody to calm down before he went nuts.

"That's not even the icing!" Axel cried, ignoring his partner's words and growing increasingly mad. "What's the oh so sweet icing on this blasted figurative cake is that we were foiled by a puppy! A puppy, Riku! I'm an assassin! I could easily sneak and kill anyone but I can't even get Roxas! Well I've had it!"

In a manner similar to Hades, Axel's hair caught fire. Riku summoned his keyblade and used blizzard to extinguish the flames. Red spikes were now stiff and unmoving, "So what are you going to do?"

"First I'm going to get cake," the nobody replied. All the talk of cake made him crave some. "Then…ROXAS SHALL BE MINE!"

His partner-in-crime sweat dropped as the Flurry of Dancing Flames disappeared in a Corridor of Darkness. This was another one of the few plans that he thought it best to stay out of. So what was he to do? Facebook of course!

**~~~~~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~~~~~**

**(Sora's House)**

"So how long are you going to be gone?" Roxas asked his somebody. The said boy shrugged, "No idea. This is the fifth psychiatrist I had this month so we'll see how it goes."

Sora, since he came back from his adventures, was ordered by his mother to visit a psychiatrist. None of the ones he had so far could discern his 'problem' and it left them in tears, rocking in a corner.

The nobody waved the brunette off before shutting the door. He glanced around the repertoire of games he and Sora owned. Then he found it. Heavenly Sword. His blue eyes grew wide as looked at the box.

Roxas was playing for about an hour when the door was smash into splinters. The Key of Destiny whipped out his keyblade in the cloud of debris, waiting for the enemy. When it did clear he saw… "Axel!"

Oblivion was immediately dismissed. Oh how the boy would regret the decision…The teen noticed the expression the pyromaniac's face, "Uh, Axel…? Something wrong."

"I. WILL. HAVE. YOU!" Axel had snapped as he scooped the dirty blond in his arms. It was all so fast; Roxas could barely comprehend what happened as he was drug into his and Sora's room. For once Roxas was scared as Axel locked the door and had a rabid look on his face. The keyblade wielder backed into a corner as the nobody drew closer.

Axel was upon him and began, literally, ripping his clothes to shreds. Roxas panicked and scrambled to get away by throwing anything he could find. Like a lamp. A bat. The TV. And even, yes, the PS3. He clawed for the phone and grabbed it. He dialed a number.

**~~~~~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~~~~~**

**(Psychiatrist Office)**

_"When you walk away, you don't hear me say please! Oh baby don't-"_ Sora hit the talk button. "Hello?"

"SORA! HELP! ME!" Roxas' cry came from the other line. "AXEL'S TRYING TO RAPE ME!"

Sora blinked, "What?"

"HELLLLLLL-" the line fell dead. The brunette blinked again as he stared at his phone. He looked across the room, "Are we done here?"

Across the room was a ball. It was Sora's latest psychiatrist was rocking back and forth muttering under their breath, "Make him go away...make him go away..."

"Alright see you next week then!" Sora called before he was out the door and rushing back to the house. He came to the front door to see that it was broken open. The brunette ran up the stairs where he heard desperate cries from his room. The door was shut but you could hear pawing against the wood. He rammed his shoulder against the door to no avail.

This was a desperate situation. From the other side of the door Roxas screamed, "CALL AN ASYLUM! HURRY SORA!"

Sora dialed on his cell phone, unknowing that the signal was intercepted by the authors of the fanfiction. Kuro cried, "Kirei this is bad! Really bad! Axel's finally snapped and Roxas is already in his grasp!"

"What? We must get a squad immediately!" Kirei called before she held out her hands and summoned an armed squad to the front door of the keyblade wielder's house. Dressed like a SWAT team and armed with tranquilizer guns, the group moved quickly through the house. Sora appeared relieved once he saw them. Sora's door was kicked open to see Axel standing ominously over Roxas whose clothes were in tatters and huddled in a corner.

The team opened fire. Darts were launched into the nobody's neck. He wobbled slightly, giving enough time for Roxas to run over to Sora, while the asylum squad tried to approach but Roxas could see in those green eyes that he wasn't going down just yet. The Key of Destiny took a shotgun version of the tranquilizer and called, "That's not enough!"

He opened fire on Axel with an uncountable amount of darts entering the nobody's body.

**~~~~~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~~~~~**

Riku was walking up the hill just in time to see Axel being loaded into a high security van with a crowd of fan girls crowded around. They cried, "We love you Axel!"

The silver-haired teenager turned right back around. He had no intention of dealing with those rabid fan girls. The van was closed and was driving away just as a cloaked figure emerged from a corridor of darkness. All the fan girls gasped, "OH my gosh, it's Xemnas! Get him!"

The figure gulped, "No, I'm not Xemnas!"

"Xemy!" they called while they chased him. The person was pulled into an alley while the girls ran past. The guy turned to see Kuro; "I knew you seemed familiar, 'X', or should I say-" he pulled off the hood. "-my little brother, Shinigami?"

"How'd you know it was me?" Shinigami questioned. Kuro said, "Only you would help perverts try and win and just so you know, Kirei and I will not let you get away with it."

"Then why'd you save me?" he asked. A malicious smile spread on the Heartless hybrid's face. "Who ever said I saved you?"

He slabbed on some crazy glue and put a silver wig onto Shinigami's head before kicking him back into the street, "Oh look its Xemnas!"

Fangirls turned on heel, making Shinigami gulp before running away, and "Darn you Kuro!"

He ran right past Kirei who was eating a sea salt ice cream. She wandered to her co-writer, "Was that Xemnas?"

"Yep!" Kirei only shrugged as she glanced back at the retreating figure and shook her head disbelievingly.

**~~~~~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~AllHailEccentricness~~~~~**

_Kirei: That was a mess_

_Kuro: Probably because you were tired._

_Kirei: Sorry...It's been a while since we talked about this idea. Plus it was crazy in the first place._


	12. Authoress's Note

To my readers,

First and foremost, I'm sorry this isn't the update you might've been waiting for. I hate that feeling as well and hate that I'm doing this to my loyal readers. I'm sorry for the extended absence and the extremely hiatus I've put all my works onto. Apparently, college is more time consuming than high school in some aspects. Others, not so much. I won't blame my school work nor work for this break since there have been many times I've been able to write but can't find the motivation to write. That and I'm also on a RP site that I've been working on my characters there.

…I'm rambling so I'll get to why I have this note: Did I lose all my readers? I'd just like to gauge where I am with some so I can prioritize for the summer. Also, I need help with the writer's block. Um…any ideas? And…any ways to refresh the fandom in my head without having to rewatch the whole series (sorry, that's way too many episodes to rewatch when I'm trying to expand on my listing)?

Yeah, other than that…I don't think I have much. Um…how are you all? Hopefully good, ne? Uh…certain fandoms you're in that you'd like me to write for/get in? Also a thanks for the PMs in my inbox, I'm not dead I assure you. By the way, I don't bite so don't be afraid to shoot me a PM or find me on any other site I'm on (I'm Kirei Ryuusei on every place I join). I don't know, just feels cool when you can talk to your readers and such.

Again, rambling.

'Til Next Time,

Kirei Ryuusei


End file.
